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Sure, all the guys at your high school reunion think your shirt is ridiculous. Sure, all the guys at your high school reunion think your shirt is ridiculous. Truth is, they’re all just jealous that they’re not "the best friend I ever had."
You just take another sip of your drink and point out that all of those are great, but none of them have ever made your sworn enemies “manure their fields,” if they catch your drift.
When the Warthog comes in low, grumbling its way along the ground, everyone suddenly gets it. There is no better description than the best friend I ever had.